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There are many types of intelligence and emotional intelligence, even though it’s much discussed these days, is often not displayed much in the workplace. Being able to pinpoint and manage emotions (both yours and others’) is what helps you better manage relationships. It can be a rigorous process to cultivate being more open to watching your own emotions, but this work will lead to a happier and more successful life.

In order to be emotionally intelligent you need to be self-aware. For example, some leaders fake their self-confidence and may not even realize it. There’s a big difference between true self-confidence and faking it. People you work with can subconsciously feel the difference. You work more competently when you have realistic self-confidence. This is because you understand your feelings and you can tell when a strong emotion is about to occur, so you adjust. Understanding your feelings sounds pretty basic but it’s actually something that takes people a long time to learn.

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Someone who is emotionally intelligent is resilient, able to remain calm under pressure. When you do get upset, you get over it quickly and don’t dwell on it. You’re the go-to person in a crisis, which is an obvious leadership trait. You’re also emotionally balanced, you keep distress in check and you don’t let it spill over to others around you. Leaders like this tend to keep an eye on longer-term goals no matter what bumps may occur along the way.

Emotional intelligence also requires empathy, both emotional and cognitive. You truly understand the feelings and perspectives of others. This lets you see things from many angles and people pick up on this. Seeing how someone feels lets you communicate better. People like this also tend to be good listeners, pay attention better and don’t just wait for their turn to speak.

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